Rude Awakening
by Downton.fangirl
Summary: A oneshot where Mary is awoken by Matthew... updated! Reviews are much appreciated!
1. Chapter 1

"Mary" he whispered as he nudged her ear.

"Mhmm?" she replied with a sigh as she rolled over closer to him.

"It's time to get up" he whispered as he started moving his lips down her neck, across her throat and lower.

"Mmm," was all she could say as he roamed her body.

"Come along, I have a whole day planned" he spoke into her belly button.

"Well then you'd best stop doing that or we'll be here all day" she smiled but dared not move as her hands moved to grab him.

"This is the beginning, darling. Good morning…" he whispered as his blonde hair became all she could see and his tongue dipped between her thighs hitting that spot he knew so well. She gasped and grabbed a handful of his hair preparing for the ride. He licked and suck alternating in time with her moans and sighs. Soon she was trembling with anticipation, building, soaring higher under him, soon she exploded. Head turned to the side as she grabbed his hair harder pulling him to her. She came apart in his mouth and he nibbled her velvety flesh prolonging her release.

"My turn" he whispered as he came up from his spot between her thighs, lips glistening with her essence.

He moved slowly up her body kissing licking and sucking before reaching her mouth and kissing her deeply. She reached around grabbing his bottom and pushed him inside her. He had been ready since he woke up next to her, staring at her naked body, clothes on the floor from the night before. His pushed inside willingly, his throbbing member now hitting that spot deep inside as she once again starting building. His grunts and groans pushing her higher. His cock throbbing wanting to release, he grit his teeth staring into her waiting for her, pushing her, determined to make her come apart once again. She opened her eyes to see his ocean blue depths, eyes that she could get lost in for hours. She shut her eyes, it was almost too much to look at feeling as much as she was. She gasped as she felt him hit her spot once again, she began to lose control and threw her head back awaiting her release. He growled "look at me, I want to see you" She moaned but obliged and opened her eyes as her orgasm started and she came apart at the seams. Looking into her eyes he let out a growl and fell apart above her with one last push as she squeezed around him, he came apart above her. Buried in her he collapsed on top knowing she loved his weight on her. She let out a sigh of utter contentment and drew lazy circles on his back as they came back down from the clouds.

She must have fallen back to sleep for she felt a nudge, suddenly the weight of him was no longer on her. But she smiled as the nudging lips on her ear continued, "Mary wake up" the voice said in a loving tone.

"Mmm" she replied, "again..?" she mumbled with smirk on her face.

"Again…?" the voice replied with some confusion stopping his ministrations that began moving downward, pulling back to look at her.

She felt cold and searched for him, her fingers searching for the warm body next to her. She turned toward him, opening her eyes and smiling, searching for those sky blue eyes she loved so much with a reply on her tongue with a smart reply that he had just woken her... But the eyes weren't the ones she was looking for, they were different and the nudging wasn't a blonde head but brown. And her husband was no longer Matthew but Henry.


	2. Chapter 2

She stared. Realizing her mistake, it was all a dream. She tried to smile, to not let him see her pain... it wasn't his fault after all.  
"Mary?" Henry said with some concern in his voice, eyebrows nitted together in concern and confusion.  
"Yes...?" Mary answered voice trailing off.  
"You okay? You look like you've seen a ghost." Henry stated with concern.  
Mary rolled over desperate to turn her back to him, to close her eyes and change everything. To change him... to switch him to the one she was just with. "I'm fine, just feel a bit under the weather is all. I think I'll shower..." she said as she got up quickly for the bathroom. Her nakedness, the effect from the night before making her uncomfortable. Practically running for the bathroom the tears began to well up in her eyes.  
"Mary." Henry called with a little force, knowing something was wrong but not having a clue what I could be. "Let me in, let me help..." he pleaded with the door shut quickly in his face.  
"I'm fine honestly, must be something I ate last night, I don't know. Somethings not agreeing with me. I'll be fine. Just need a moment and a shower." She replied a bit terse. Lips trembling as she began to fall apart. The hole in her chest she thought was healing now ripped open anew. Her grief feeling as fresh as the day she found out. Her love was gone and he had taken the best parts of her with him. She couldn't do this. How could she be married? What had she been thinking?

"Mary? I'm worried, can I get you anything?" Henry asked sounding a little lighter than before.

"No, I'll be fine. Why don't you go see if there's something exciting to do for later. I'll be better if I just relax for a moment, maybe the flight has me out of sorts."

"Yeah I will do, maybe, yeah that's probably it. Not everyday we fly to Aruba is it?!" Henry replied excitedly.

"No... not everyday." She replied trying to sound cheery.

"Well rest, try to feel better darling, it's our honeymoon after all. That should hopefully out a smile on your face."

Mary fell to her knees in front of the sink tears sliding silently down her cheeks, biting her lip so hard she tasted blood. If she let out the sobs she wouldn't survive. She wouldn't be able to pull herself together again. She chose life. She had. She was on her honeymoon. Months of planning for a wedding and honeymoon... had she even wanted it? Yes, she did. That wasn't fair to do. She was in love with Henry, love enough to marry him and picture a life with him. But she had no idea how hard it would be. Without him...

She heard the door close of their hotel suite and let her legs curl up as she lay on her side knees clenched tightly to her chest as the tears continued to fall.

"Oh, Matthew!" Mary sobbed. It was no use, the sobs had come.


	3. Chapter 3

She was sitting on the couch enjoying her book waiting for him to come home. It wasn't long before she heard the door open and a cheerful "Mary?" called out.

"In here," she replied as a blonde head popped around the doorway with a smile on his face.

"Wait, what? But you're…." Mary gasped as her breath caught and she stared into eyes so blue her heart squeezed tightly in her chest.

"I'm right here, darling." Matthew replied with look of love on his face so sincere Mary's heart gave a start.

"This isn't real…" Mary said staring at him, the book all but forgotten in her lap.

"Darling, what do you mean?" Matthew said coming towards her and sitting on the couch facing her. He pulled her to him and kissed her hair.

"I'll always be here for you, if ever you need me or if ever you doubt just know that I'll always be here for you." Matthew moved to pull in for a kiss. Right before their lips met Mary woke with a start, she had fallen asleep on the bathroom floor, knees still pulled tight to her chest.

She picked herself up. She loved them both. It was fine, she was fine, everything was fine. She had no regrets about her time with Henry. She did this one right, they met, fell in love and Mary didn't resist. Not like she had before, with Matthew… She had to stop, she shouldn't think of him right now… not on the floor of the bathroom in her honeymoon suite. This was her time with Henry. Her chance at happiness. But did being happy with Henry mean letting go of Matthew? It has to, doesn't it? There isn't enough room in one's heart to love more than one love. There are different kinds of love, Matthew was the love of her life. And now, Henry was…. he was… her love now. She loved him, most ardently, madly even. Their romance was a whirlwind and she hadn't regretted it. She thought and rethought it but she didn't regret it.

Staring at herself in the mirror she changed, the woman before her was no longer the woman she was before lying on the floor. She was no longer Matthew's Mary. She was her own Mary, she had fought hard to be where she is and she knew that Henry was good for her. She wanted him. But the Mary in the mirror was an honest Mary, a harder Mary, one who looked at herself with a critical eye and asked _who do I want more? Can I live with ghost or do I need the flesh?_ Though this Mary was colder and could feel a prickle on the back of her neck she didn't know the answer. She sighed looking into her eyes in the mirror and ask for forgiveness,

"If you can hear me, if you're there, just know that I will always love you. I love him but I will always love you. I hope you can forgive me, my darling, my Matthew."

Her whole body felt on fire, she felt the coldest breeze and then a brief tingle along her arms and forehead. She felt something in front of her and she sighed. It was all in her imagination of course but in that moment she knew, whether Matthew was there or not that he would understand. That she could live with the ghost but he wouldn't want her to. She didn't want to. She wanted a life. She wanted the one she had chosen 4 years ago but that was not to be. She was angry but she was ready. Ready to move forward and with the man she loved. She knew that this wasn't her last moment thinking of Matthew, she knew their love would never leave her. But, it would fade. Along with his memories, the feel of his fingertips across her skin. The memory of his lips against her. The memory of the exact color of blue his eyes were. She would forget, George being her only link to him, she would forget him. The eyes in the mirror told her that and she saw her life before her, dimming without him. A cold truth she thought she had faced already hitting her anew. But in those eyes, her eyes, she saw a firm resolve. To be happy. And George was her happiness now, with Henry. She could be happy and she would be.

As she turned away from the mirror and walked to the door she felt cold, the air suddenly frightfully chilled again but she was not frightened and she was not cold. And she knew that she would love and be loved until the end of time.


End file.
